Inclusive resolutions

For 2009 I resolved to be more inclusive with my wife. I resolved to try and include her in more of the plans and activities that I do so that she does not feel left out. This in itself seems quite noble— but in reality it has been very difficult to do.

Perhaps it is because I did not define it very well. I sometimes make resolutions that are vague so that I can create some sort of accomplishment and have some wiggle room to make it work. Unfortunately, this one was very vague and did not contain any objective goals that I can look upon and say to myself that I am moving in the right direction.

Perhaps it is because I told my wife about it. Sometimes if someone knows your plans they can object to them a lot easier. I think that because I told her, she knows that I am trying and can therefore call me on it if I fail. If I did not tell her my resolution, then perhaps if I did fail I would be the one who could hold my failure against me.

As with all of my resolutions, they do not stop with the end of the year. I can use my lack of accomplishment for this resolution as a motivator to keep this one in my back pocket and strive to look for progress without the time constraint of one year.

Do you have resolutions from this past year, or even next year? Did you manage to keep your resolutions? Do you let your resolutions carry over to the next year, or do you make new ones for the upcoming year?

2009 A year in review

As 2009 comes to a close I have seen other bloggers give a summary of their posts that they have had throughout the year. As I started this blog in 2008, I can safely do this and have a complete year to pull from.

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Posts that I am proud of writing:

Inspiration and Motivation

This is my explanation of the difference between inspiration and motivation written at the time of the President's inauguration.

Coping Mechanism

This post helps to explain how we cope with stress in life.

Smart vs. Intelligent

I seem to get a lot of hits on this one. This is how I define the difference between being smart and being intelligent.

Pretty vs. Beautiful

This is how I define the difference between being pretty and being beautiful.

Do you have that new myPhone yet…

A tongue and cheek look at how our reliance on phone features could go too far.

The Long Rain

A review I wrote in high school about a science fiction short story.

Trolling for South Pole Traffic

My look at Web statistics services and how they leave out an entire continent.

Couples and Train Couplings

An analogy between people who are couples and train couplings.

Trapped in Time: Act 1

This is part one of a two part story that I originally wrote in high school. It is a cliff-hanger in that you need to read the next post to get the end.

Friendship Types

This is the first part of a four part series on different types of friends that a person can have. I strongly encourage you to read the rest of the series as it took me almost a year to complete.

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Posts that currently have 20 or more comments:

Warm Milk

This was my first post that reached 20 comments. It is also one of my first participatory posts where I am participating in Tuesday's Tribute.

Wordful Wednesday - Spikester Diddly Dog

This one got a lot of comments because… who doesn't like dogs.

Communication Styles

This is an introduction to a series post that I have about communication styles. I encourage you to read the next four posts as well since they cover each in more detail.

Writer's Workshop: C is for Cookie

This is a good story about how my sister taught me a lesson for demanding a cookie. Be sure to read the comments, she tells the real story and not the one a 4 year old remembers.

100th Post

Most people like to wish you well on your 100th post. Hopefully it will give you some topics to ask me to write about.

TT: Spin on the Bed

This is currently the record holder with the number of comments made. I probably tribute it to being both a Tuesday's Tribute and a Spin Cycle participatory post.

What's in a nickname: Naming conventions

I think a lot of people have nicknames and like to share theirs.

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And the one that I get the most search hits on…

ASCII Love

I don't know why… but I seem to get hits from all over the globe for this one. So much so that I wrote a special post about it: Looking for Love in all the wrong places.

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Please feel free to visit these pages if you have not done so already to give you a smattering of what I've been writing about this past year.

2010 Polar Bear Plunge

At noon on Friday, January 1, 2010 I will be at Loyola Beach near Pratt Park participating in the annual polar bear plunge. If you are curious and want to know why I do this— read my post here.

Depending on how many people come to cheer me on will determine if I go to an after-party for "hot" drinks— hot-chocolate, hot-apple cider, hot-toddies, etc.

Hope to see you there.

No I have not dropped off the face of the Universe

I am not the kind of person who likes to give excuses… especially when you could argue that there is no excuse. But rather than telling you how busy I was this past week, or how I couldn't get motivated enough to write anything— I just thought I would tell you that I am still here and am trying to get something out before the end of the week. Hoping that everybody has had a great Christmas and is getting ready for a great New Year.

Office Christmas Party

The other day, my wife asked me "What do you wish for for Christmas". Knowing full well that she had something in mind herself— I reversed the question to her and this is what I got:

"I wish I could go to one of those Office Christmas Parties they have on the movies from the 50's". I know what she means. If any of you have ever seen those Office Christmas Parties from Desk Set and The Apartment you know what she means too.

How many Office Parties have you gone to where everybody is drinking, nobody is working— people are out in the copy room making out, etc. etc.? I must admit that I have not ever attended one of those— but I have had some nice ones over the years. The best one I went to was when they put us on a boat for a dinner cruise.

I think that due to Political Correctness and Sexual Harassment— those parties are now a thing of the past. In fact— a lot of them are no longer even called Christmas Parties. More like "A Celebration of the Cold Weather" but even that may be offending too.

As I like a good story— any of you have great Office Parties that you have attended. Any great stories to tell about them… Do tell.

F2: Chicken Bacon

Welcome again to Friday's Feast. Today I'll be talking about chicken bacon.

If you don't know what Friday's Feast is all about, please read the Friday's Feast page for a more detailed explanation. If you want to join in on the feast— be sure to leave a comment and include the URL to your post so I and others can know of your contribution. Also, if you want to see a particular topic— feel free to suggest it as well (I'm always looking for new inspirations).

Participants in this weeks Feast are as follows:

• Margaret aka: Fact Woman @ Buttercream Lane
  Here's a post with the 25 days of Christmas Cookie Recipes. If you don't have any ideas for cookies, here's the place to go.
• Aliceson @ Feet off the Table
  These look more like candies than cookies, so they are definitely a hit.
• American in Norway @ American in Norway
  St. Lucia and Hot Chocolate.
• Michele @ It's a dog's life
  Meatless Monday… need I say more.

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With inspirations from The Colonel…

When my wife and I started to host Christmas at our house, we bought a variety of sausages to serve. After a few years of that, some family members requested that we do bacon instead— we happily abliged.

Given that I usually try to be frugal and buy chicken breasts with the bones and skin attached, I decided that I would do something with the chicken skins and add chicken bacon to the mix.

Chicken Bacon:

Chicken Skins (raw)

Broiler Pan

1. Lay the chicken skins on the broiler pan.
   If you don't have a broiler pan, you can make one with a 13x9 baking pan and laying a cookie cooling rack on top.
2. Broil under the broiler until the skins become crisp.
   It is a good idea to keep an eye on it so that they don't burn.
3. Remove from the broiler pan.
4. Enjoy.

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Because next week is Christmas at our household I have decided not to post a Friday's Feast. I would much rather be opening presents than opening my browser or feed reader. And since the Friday after that is New Years Day, I have decided to give you two weeks to let me know what you serve or have eaten for New Years Eve or even New Years Day.

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In and up around the Internet

I have had this up on my sidebar for some time now, but never quite explained what it is. Of course, if you are reading this on a reader you will probably never see it and wonder what the….

Being a transient being, I am never in the same place at the same time. I heard it said: "Space was invented so that everything doesn't happen in the same place— and Time was invented so that everything doesn't happen all at once". For these reasons alone, the sidebar will come in handy to let you know Where's CaJoh….

 LinkedIn:

For those who do not know what LinkedIn is, it is a professional social networking site geared towards job related networking. Most people use this site as a tool to help find a job. I use it as a way of keeping in touch with other professionals in my field. Since my carer path has been wide and varied over the years, I have contacts in many different fields. If you have a LinkedIn account, feel free to link up.

 Blogger

This seems redundant, but just in case I re-purpose this code in other places this will bring you to my Blogger profile page.

 Twitter

Yes… I'm a twit-too. Mostly I have been using it as a way of promoting my blog— so don't be too disappointed in the number or the content of my tweets.

 Facebook

If you have a Facebook account, feel free to make a friend request. I must warn you that there are a lot of people with my name— so please explain how you know me so that you don't get my standard reply if I don't know you.

 Delicious

I will need to write a post about this service so that you know what it is. If you have a Delicious account and want to share your bookmarks, or want to see what I bookmark myself— feel free to stop by.

 iLike

I discovered iLike through Facebook, but the fact that it works with iTunes is what got me hooked. If you have an iLike account and want to compare music— please do.

 Picasa

Since not all of my pictures on this blog are posted, here is a place where you can see my eye on the world.

There are several others (Wordpress, Goodreads just to name a few)… to which I do not have the properly sized button for. Since I am a bit handicapped when it comes to picture editing (I know what needs to be done, I just don't have the tools to do so)… I am calling on you to help me out. If you are up to the challenge, send me an e-mail and let me know.

I have been wanting to write separate posts on many of these, so if you want more detail, let me know which one and I will make a separate post dedicated to it.

Yey no more drafts

Last week I cleared out my drafts that have been sitting in my drafts for almost a year. I remember putting those four posts up sometime before the beginning of the year last year and now I have finally put them out there.

I guess this is more of a place-holder so that I can get something out there. The odd thing is that I am off today and I didn't have something lined up to post. Now I have to come up with something so that I don't go an entire week without a post.

Something that I found is that when you post something and you think it is well written, you never know if it is understood until someone else looks at it. I truly appreciate all of your comments on my Friendship Posts last week. It is rather unfortunate that I had training from Wednesday through Friday and I couldn't follow up with clarifications and counter arguments because I was too mentally exhausted to get on-line and do so.

Perhaps what I'm looking for is some suggestions on things that I can post— or more importantly, other strategies for writing posts. I do not want to have drafts that are in my drafts for too long again. Nor do I want to worry about not having any drafts at all. Do you have drafts, or are you the kind of person that writes all of their posts and posts them right away?

Any advise is greatly appreciated,

F2: Holiday Treats

Welcome again to Friday's Feast. Today I'll be talking about holiday treats.

If you don't know what Friday's Feast is all about, please read the Friday's Feast page for a more detailed explanation. If you want to join in on the feast— be sure to leave a comment and include the URL to your post so I and others can know of your contribution. Also, if you want to see a particular topic— feel free to suggest it as well (I'm always looking for new inspirations).

Participants in this weeks Feast are as follows:

• Martha in PA @ The Daily Grind
  Every time I hear Snicker-doodle I think of the candy bar. I stand corrected.

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There is something about the holidays that makes us want to eat. Perhaps it is the fact that it is cold around here, and eating keeps us warm. Perhaps it's a continuation of all of those Harvest Holidays because we never know what to do with all of those leftovers. All the same… just around this time of year I start seeing all of the food catalogs in our mailbox which in turn makes me drool.

I know that I love to entertain, and if money were no object I would be ordering all of those great hams and roasts to serve at our next gathering. I see things like caviar, and other exotic foods laid out on the page in such an appetizing way that I can just picture our spread looking just as inviting.

Then you have those candy fundraiser catalogs that the kids bring home from school. All those great candies that you remember as a child… you just cannot resist. Then there are those that also have sausages and cheese. I don't know about you, but nothing says the holidays like a good summer-sausage.

How about you… What foods say the holidays to you?

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Since Christmas is just around the corner, I thought I would dedicate the entire month of December to it. Here are some possible topics that can whet your appetite:

• Do you have any special meals that you make for Christmas?
• Are there any food items that you only get around Christmas?
• What is fruitcake anyway?
• You can't have Christmas without cookies…

So… if you have anything that relates to this topic, be sure to leave a comment and include the URL so I can include you in the next weeks feast. Even if you have already posted on this topic in the past— your links are always welcome.

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Close Friends

Being a close friend takes more commitment than being a buddy-buddy type friend because you are posing a personal interest in that individual— rather than just spending time with them. It is different than an acquaintance because you take the time to know them and not just know about them.

My mother told me that close friends are extremely rare. At the time I knew that this was true— but never quite understood why. There is a give and take in close friends that makes them what they are, so understanding that give and take helps to know why they are so rare.

Being "close" to me means that you actually know the person you are with. You know a lot of things about the person on a personal level, and you know the broad range of the person through their Name, Occupation, Health, and Feelings. Not only do you know them, you really "get" them. There is a spiritual connectedness that you don't see in any other type of friendship. You bend over backwards to help that person and know just what to say to make them feel better when they are down. With real close friends, they are the ones who are looking in when you are stuck in a hole and can't get out. They are the ones who allow you to be close and can be close to you as well. This sense of mutualness is important when considering who your close friends are.

There is the concept of personal space— where if people get "too close", they have invaded your personal space and you feel uncomfortable. This is true not only physically (don't stand so close to me)— but also spiritually as well.

How often do we find that someone seems to be "too personal". I had a friend who confessed to me that they don't always like to feel "smothered" by others. Sometimes I tend to be serious when it comes to being friends with people. This in itself can be a bit smothering, and may put off people that I consider to be close friends with. If you are close but they are not— then the relationship is unrequited and unbalanced. Having a close friend that can be close to you— and also allow you to be close makes for a well balanced friendship that overcomes any challenges that may befall either of you.

What about you… Do you have a close friend? Do you even think that close friends are necessary? Do you find others invading your personal space and "smothering" you when you don't want them to? Is there someone that you would give yourself whole-heartedly to when you find they are in need?

Buddy-Buddy Friends

Being a Buddy-Buddy type friend takes a little bit more commitment than an acquaintance, because it takes some effort to participate with the person. One tends to have less buddy-buddy type friends than acquaintances— but that is expected (you can't go out with everyone you know).

Why do people hang out with other people? I believe that most people need to feel like they belong— and having friends that you can spend time with fulfills that need. If you read my post on hangers on, there are many reasons why someone wants to hang out with you. You may not always welcome their company, but the fact remains that they want to be with you.

Much like what constitutes a "Date"— what constitutes as going out must be clarified. I still recall the argument with the rest of my dorm-mates in college when we tried to figure out what made a date a date. "No… it's not considered a date if you eat lunch with them in the cafeteria." Likewise, you cannot consider your friend to be your "bud" if you only see them in one place. You cannot claim to have a buddy-buddy friendship with someone you only see in class. You can claim them if you go somewhere other than where you are always encountering them. The lines can be blurred in some sense— especially if you hang around with the same people in many different places. My dorm-mates can be considered buddy-buddy friends because not only did we see each other in the dorms, we also went out for pizza and to the occasional party together.

I think that much like a date, an invitation needs to be made in order for it to be official. The phrase "Hey, want to go to lunch…" can be made— and if they come along it's official.

What about you… Do you find that you have friends that you hang out with? Are you the one who invites others to come along, or do others ask you? What makes a Buddy-Buddy friend to you?

Acquaintances

An acquaintance is a type of friend that either you know or knows you. How much you know the person is not a requirement— so having an acquaintance in which you do not know their name still counts. Being an acquaintance does not take a lot of commitment. Just being able to recognize and identify someone as a friend is all that is required.

I find that one has a lot of acquaintances. This is probably because you do not have to spend time with them, or take any personal interest in them. They can be a part of a larger group that you both are a part of such as a graduating class from school, or a co-worker in the office.

So often we say that we have a lot of friends. But, if you look at it closer— how many of those so called friends are just acquaintances. I have seen a lot of people who tend to collect friends like they do trophies. They are the ones who want to have friends so that they can claim to be popular. I have noticed that I know a lot of people— some of which may even question my motives for being their friend. I tend to make friends with those to whom I find a common interest, and not for prestige. I believe there is a sense of connection when we can claim someone as a friend. There is also a sense of pride when we find that someone can claim us as their friend as well.

I hate the sense of having an unrequited relationship. Those who collect friends tend to not recipricate back to those who have befriended them. I know that there probably are some people to whom I have befriended who do not return the favor of being a friend. I also tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and give them the exuse that they are busy with their lives and do not have time to keep up with all of their friends. I just hope that those to whom I befriend understand the genuineness of my friendship and do not feel that I am just "collecting friends".

What about you… Do you find that you have a lot of aquaintences? Do you find people who collect friends in order to look popular? Do you find that having an aquaintance is satisfying, or too much work?

Friendship Types

I have found that there are three basic types of friendships that you can have— Acquaintances, Buddy-Buddy, and Close. At first I thought that these were levels of friendships that an individual achieves in a relationship with somebody, but I have changed the definition to be more role based instead. One thing that I know about these types is that you will always have more of one type than another. I have listed these in the order of popularity (which type you have more of)— and will give a brief description of each. Then I will have separate posts describing each in more detail.

Acquaintances:

These are the type of friends that know you and you know them. You typically have a lot of these types because there does not need to be any real commitment outside of recognition. These can range from the commuter you sit next to on the train— to the person you used to sit next to in English class.

Buddy-Buddy:

These are the type of friends that you go out with. They are your "buds" and there are typically less of these than acquaintances. These range from the workers you go out to drinks with— to the couple you have over for dinner.

Close:

These are the type of friends that know you very intimately. You typically do not have very many of these types of friends (if at all). Some labels for this type of friend include soul mate, partner, confidant, best friend.

I believe that there are times that all of us participate in these roles with others and that they are not necessarily reserved to happen all the time. I have known acquaintances that have acted (even if briefly) as close friends— even though I hardly knew them. It is good to know what kinds of friends you have, and appreciate the fact that you can have them.

What about you… Do you find that you have more of one type of friend than another? Do you have other labels that you use to describe the types of friends you have? Do you feel that you need to achieve each of the friendship types in order to progress in a relationship with someone?

F2: Kolaches

Welcome again to Friday's Feast. Today I'll be sharing one of my Christmas cookie recipies.

If you don't know what Friday's Feast is all about, please read the Friday's Feast page for a more detailed explanation. If you want to join in on the feast— be sure to leave a comment and include the URL to your post so I and others can know of your contribution. Also, if you want to see a particular topic— feel free to suggest it as well (I'm always looking for new inspirations).

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With inspirations from Mom…

This is a recipe that I found is very easy to make and is one of the cookies I make every Christmas. Caution… this recipe uses "real" ingredients— I have never tried substitutes, but if you are successful using something else, let me know.

Kolaches:

1 lb. Butter (4 Sticks)

8 oz. Cream Cheese

4 C Flour

2 T Baking Powder

2-3 T Sugar

1 12oz. Can Cake & Pastry Filling

1-2 C Confectioners Sugar

The finished product

1. Soften the butter and Cream Cheese in a large mixing bowl.
2. Cut in the Flour, Baking Powder and Sugar.
3. Mix with your hands until it becomes a dough.
4. Chill overnight
5. Preheat Oven to 350°
6. Roll no thinner than 1/8".
7. Cut out circles.
   I use a shot glass, or even a small orange juice glass to do so.
8. Place the circles on a baking sheet.
9. Place an indentation into the circle to hold the filling.
10. Place a small spoonful of filling into the indentation.
    I like raspberry and apricot as flavors, but feel free to use what ever you like.
11. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
12. Sprinkle Confectioners Sugar on top
13. Enjoy

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Since Christmas is just around the corner, I thought I would dedicate the entire month of December to it. Here are some possible topics that can whet your appetite:

• Do you have any special meals that you make for Christmas?
• Are there any food items that you only get around Christmas?
• What is fruitcake anyway?
• You can't have Christmas without cookies…

So… if you have anything that relates to this topic, be sure to leave a comment and include the URL so I can include you in the next weeks feast. Even if you have already posted on this topic in the past— your links are always welcome.

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