As we all live our lives we are constantly asked to "cope with the situation". The next question that we ask ourselves is "how". I have been using the phrase "Coping Mechanism" for many years— but never pondered its meaning until recently. I will attempt to give you my perspective on the phrase so that you can draw your own conclusions about how coping mechanism works.
The human body is an amazing machine. I love the fact that it knows how to take care of itself when injured or under stress. For example— when walking in tight shoes your heel develops a blister. You may think that this blister is very painful— but consider the fact that your heel was being rubbed constantly by that tight shoe and your heel needed to create a barrier so that your skin wouldn't be rubbed off. You didn't have to tell your foot to do this— it did it on its own. Looking at the mind/body/spirit combination you find similar mechanisms occurring as well.
The senses are very selective when it comes to observing the world around us. When situations become stressful— the mind tends to sharpen and focus in order for us to decide the best course of action rather than being distracted by other things. These snap decisions are automatic and save our lives because we are focused on surviving.
When the body is under stress the mind tends to compensate. The term "mind over matter" describes this situation very well. This is probably why we tend to get sick after the holidays are over. Our minds no longer have to worry about keeping pace and our bodies are then allowed to recover… which results in us being sick because we drove ourselves too far.
When your mind is stressed the spirit tends to compensate. Much like the fluid that builds up in the blister— your spirit will try and protect you from painful thoughts. This is not to say that the spirit will cloud the mind with other thoughts— but rather will lessen the pain so that those thoughts have less effect on you. I find that some people tend to handle tragedy better than others. It is these people that seem to face difficult situations in stride and do not appear to be overwhelmed by the circumstances. This is not a learned behavior— but one that appears to be automatic.
Everyone handles the stresses and strains of their lives differently. Much like the difference between someone who has a "short fuse" and one who has "the patience of Job"— everyone has a different coping mechanism. Recognizing these differences and allowing people to use their own coping mechanism will let everyone handle their lives naturally without feeling ridiculed or incompetent.
13 comments:
I think my coping mechanism is hot, just saying, it could be so.
This was a great post to read today. My coping mechanism has gotten a workout the past few days.
When dealing with tragedy easily and gracefully, I don't think it necessarily comes naturally. I think it is learned. And I think it takes work to get to that place. Your post is giving me a lot to think about... I've used a lot of coping mechanisms in my lifetime- from straight up survival mode to everyday stress release.
I agree that we all need a coping mechanism to accept everyone else's coping mechanisms:)
My coping mechanism gets a little wily when I'm around idiots. hee hee hee:) (I actually just posted about that!)
i agree, we need to be more tolerant of everyone's coping mechanisms. and i think you are right that they are automatic, which makes them really difficult to override or change.
another good one.
Very good post. Good Job!
I've noticed that married couples don't usually have the same coping methods. In my case we probably do but we are opposites of each other. It seems when I am at the end and can't take anymore and want to quit my husband is strong and sees the light at the end of the tunnel. And then when it is him all worn out, I am the one readdy to keep fighting.
Great analogy. I guess the trick is not developing so many blisters that your spirit becomes calloused, eh? I've had to work through that before, too, and it's hard.
Very interesting. I never thought of a blister being a coping mechanism. But it is. I am very blistery except where my babies and our dogs are concerned.
This was a great post which has me thinking about all the coping mechanism's I have used through out my life. I think there are some that I have always used, such as laughter, and while I still use it today, I don't as much. And there are some coping methods that I no longer use. You are right about allowing one another their coping mechanism's without ridicule...very true!
I still have Disneyland blisters, I think I would have preferred my skin rubbing off ;-)
I'm one of those people that sort of cruise through stressful situations. Deaths, accidents, injuries, holidays.
My mother is 'constantly' telling me that it's okay to 'cry' when we're going through some family tragedy or crisis.
I can do that on my own time, I don't need to be involved in a big bawl fest just because no one else can keep their shite together for an hour.
That probably sounds callous ... but it's not ... I do things my own way, frees up more shoulder space for the rest of the fam, friends, pets, whatnot.
I'm not someone who naturally copes very well, but I have definitely learned over the years to be better at it. I think you can learn that over time, but for me it has taken being an adult and having good examples around me of how I'd like to behave.
Post a Comment