Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Out of Sight and Out of Mind

So often I use the statement "Out of sight and out of mind". I typically use it as a way of justifying the feeling one gets when they feel that they are being ignored. I feel that there is a lot to this concept— so it deserves delving into a bit in order to wrap our heads around it better.

The term "Out of sight" does not always mean that the person is not within your field of vision. So often we See people on a regular basis. Even if we only talk to them on the phone, their presence is with us. It is this presence that we recognize and that presence is what makes us know that they exist. Since we tend to favor sight, using visual terms makes this recognition easier to digest.

The regularity of interacting with other people becomes routine to us. Many parents will tell you that with routine the responsibility to perform tasks become easier over time. We tend to get used to the fact that they are there and take that connection for granted. So what happens when that routine is broken?

What is forefront in our minds is what we are currently dealing with at the moment. If we do not have that routine of interaction with someone, we tend to forget about their existence. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and say to myself that they are just busy— but I also wonder if the connection was strong enough to begin with. Even if they are busy, shouldn't they reestablish the connection when they are no longer busy.

So often I find myself thinking of someone that I lost contact with. Many times I wonder if I should reconnect because the time that has elapsed has become so great. What is there to talk about? Will they still remember me?

I know that it seems like a catch phrase to say "remember me", but often times they do remember— and very fondly as well. I never want to hold it against someone that they suddenly became busy then forgot to reestablish the connection— so I am more than willing to start fresh. I try to fill in the gaps between the time that we lost contact and then try to focus on the present. Sometimes you will be surprised to find a whole new friend in the process.

Is there anybody in your life you no longer see that you would like to reconnect with? Do you find that people tend to forget you unless you are constantly reminding them of your presence?

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