Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Out of Sight and Out of Mind

So often I use the statement "Out of sight and out of mind". I typically use it as a way of justifying the feeling one gets when they feel that they are being ignored. I feel that there is a lot to this concept— so it deserves delving into a bit in order to wrap our heads around it better.

The term "Out of sight" does not always mean that the person is not within your field of vision. So often we See people on a regular basis. Even if we only talk to them on the phone, their presence is with us. It is this presence that we recognize and that presence is what makes us know that they exist. Since we tend to favor sight, using visual terms makes this recognition easier to digest.

The regularity of interacting with other people becomes routine to us. Many parents will tell you that with routine the responsibility to perform tasks become easier over time. We tend to get used to the fact that they are there and take that connection for granted. So what happens when that routine is broken?

What is forefront in our minds is what we are currently dealing with at the moment. If we do not have that routine of interaction with someone, we tend to forget about their existence. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and say to myself that they are just busy— but I also wonder if the connection was strong enough to begin with. Even if they are busy, shouldn't they reestablish the connection when they are no longer busy.

So often I find myself thinking of someone that I lost contact with. Many times I wonder if I should reconnect because the time that has elapsed has become so great. What is there to talk about? Will they still remember me?

I know that it seems like a catch phrase to say "remember me", but often times they do remember— and very fondly as well. I never want to hold it against someone that they suddenly became busy then forgot to reestablish the connection— so I am more than willing to start fresh. I try to fill in the gaps between the time that we lost contact and then try to focus on the present. Sometimes you will be surprised to find a whole new friend in the process.

Is there anybody in your life you no longer see that you would like to reconnect with? Do you find that people tend to forget you unless you are constantly reminding them of your presence?


Wendyburd1 said...

Your last 2 questions, yes and yes. I KEEP trying to reconnect with my BFF until we were like 15. I will email her, I have written letters. I never get return letters and rarely get emailed back and if I do it is maybe a paragraph. I don't get why the person I am "ketchup sisters" with (okay I was too scared to make myself BLEED!So we used some Heinz)doesn't want that connection back.

Mrsbear said...

I do tend to get busy sometimes, then I run in to someone at a birthday party or something, have a great time, and wonder why we don't do it more often. Certain relationships I have let lapse, or have been forgotten by the other party, but I really try not to dwell on it too much, since I've been just as guilty at times. It is nice reconnecting, for the most part, just don't ask me to attend my next high school reunion. :(

Captain Dumbass said...

I've lost contact with a lot of people over the last few years, but there's only one or two that I'm really sorry about. Maybe I was meant to be a hermit.

LissaL said...

I think grief got into the way of some of my friendships. They just couldn't understand what I was going through. Also some couldn't handle it and some, sadly just didn't care. However I also believe that I have a lot of friends who, like me are busy raising kids, taking care of family, etc and just don't have the time, like when we were single,had money (lol) etc. I just try to be grateful when I do get to reconnect, even if it is brief.

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