Pie Cubed

Three little kittens, they lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,

Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear
That we have lost our mittens.

What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
You shall have no pie.

The three little kittens, they found their mittens,
And they began to cry,

Oh, mother dear, see here, see here,
Our mittens we have found.

Put on your mittens, you silly kittens,
And you shall have some pie.
Pie, Pie, Pie[1],
Oh, let us have some pie.

The three little kittens, put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie;

Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear
That we have soiled our mittens

What! Soiled your mittens, you naughty kittens!
Then they began to sigh,
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
They began to sigh.

The three little kittens, they washed their mittens,
And hung them out to dry;

Oh! mother dear, do you not hear
That we have washed our mittens?

What! Washed your mittens, then you’re such good kittens.
But I smell a rat close by
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
We smell a rat close by.[2]

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With inspirations from m²I

They say: "The secret is in the crust". So, rather than talk about how to make this pie or that pie, I decided that I would give you my secret to perfect pie crust. Makes two 9 inch crusts.

Perfect Pie Crust:

1 Stick of butter

6 T Vegetable shortening

2 ½ C Flower

3-6 T Cold water

1. Place the butter and shortening in a medium mixing bowl.
2. Add the flower.
3. Cut in the flower with the butter and shortening until well mixed.
   If you do not have a pastry cutter, use two butter knives cutting like you do when cutting up lettuce in a bowl.
4. With one hand, add the water about a tablespoon at a time.
5. With the other hand mix using a gentle squeezing motion.
   The secret here (shh… don't tell anybody) is to continue adding the water and mix until the dough feels like Play-dough.
6. Ball up the dough in the bowl and chill for 30 minutes in the refridgerator.
7. Cut in half and roll both halves for your favorite pie.

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¹ Originally is "Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r"— but I changed it to be "Pie, Pie, Pie" because that is how I remembered hearing it.

² "Three Little Kittens" — first published in Eliza Follen's book:
New Nursery Songs for All Good Children in 1853.