Thursday, July 12, 2012

Writer's Workshop: I'm not the one

In honor of Mamma Kat's Writer's Workshop I have decided to tackle prompt #3:

Write a poem that about a time you felt betrayed.

This is not written for any particular time, but it seems to portray the feeling that one gets when they feel that they have been betrayed by the one they love:

Without my love my body weeps

within my soul my heart sleeps

Awakened again by cold pain

my body shivers without restrain

I hold my head still to hear a sound

but I only discover there's no one around

I've found my place, I've won no race

I only wish they'd see my space

So who's to say I can't go on

my love is gone… I'm not the one


I particularly like the way I tie the end of one line logically with the next. I'm really proud of this technique— so much so that I use this technique in many of my future poems as well.

Mama’s Losin’ It


kayerj said...

sad :( but very well written. kaye—the road goes ever ever on

May said...

You do a masterful job of capturing the feeling while staying true to the poetry framework.

faith said...

I like that technique. So cool. Thanks for stopping by my page.

Margaret said...

Everything you say in this poem is so true!

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