In honor of Mamma Kat's Writer's Workshop I have decided to tackle Prompt #5:
What’s so good about it? Write an interesting poem or piece of writing where the last two words of the writing are ‘good-bye’.
I have been wanting to post this poem for quite some time. And since the muse spoke to me through Mama Kat— who was inspired by writingfix.com… it looks like my muse is pretty distant— but is still on speaking terms with me.
I wrote this poem in high school which pretty much sums up my frustrations at the time. It wasn't until later when I re-read the poem that I realized it could be construed as a suicide note. Bearing this in mind, you will need to treat the two Hello's as coming from someone else— the first with an inquiring tone, and the second with a reassuring tone. Someday I will have to record myself reciting my poetry so that you better understand the overall tone of this poem.
I feel I'm trapped inside of myself… Hello
I have no place to hide from the entrapment that has kept me inside.
Who's crude walls are those who push me aside.
Where is my hero of need who sits on their trusting steed?
Nowhere, for they heed to rescue me from my gloom.
The gloom that takes my hand away from the life that was meant to stay…Good-bye
Hello
13 comments:
wow, it's been a long time since i wrote poetry. i should've saved it. good thing you were able to save yours, and it is a good idea to record a spoken poetry book :)
wandering in from the workshop :)
I like your poem! True, it may come off as a suicide note, but so do many of my poems from high-school.. I think it's the stage of life. It would be great to hear it aloud.. :)
Thanks for reading my post as well.. Nice to meet you!
Very cool. Interesting to read stuff we wrote in high school when we are older..
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I thought it was really well written and I think that is typical for a high school poem!
That is so cool that you saved your high school writing - and even more cool that you kept track of it ;)
High school was a challenging time and I think you captured it beautifully in your teenage angst.
Wow! I couldn't write like that in high school, and I'm sure I still couldn't (poetry was never my thing). I did save some things I wrote in high school, and it's amazing to look back on them now. Almost like they were written by someone else.
I swear there is a pee chee out there with an I heart Bon Jovi on the front filled with just crap writing that needs to be burned, but fortunately I have lost track of it.
Lucky for you, your talent surfaced earlier. I enjoyed your poem and think it's great that you can go back and critique and share your work. Look forward to reading more.
Oh the pain and gloom of high school. I could have written that poem too. Odd to look back at high school now (when we all felt so alone and odd one out) only to discover we were collectively suffering the same. Crazy.
--Jen
Wow, that's a pretty powerful poem for a high schooler. I think that many of us who went through high school can relate to that angst and the feeling of gloom. High school is just one of those periods in our lives where so many things are changing and so many of us are trying to find ourselves. Good job :)
A true youngster - and the angst of youth shines through. I sometimes think that emotions are rawer and felt more deeply when we are young.
Good job!
Great job with that prompt! That's great that you hung onto stuff you wrote in high school. I don't think I kept anything except what was published in the literary magazines.
You really should do a podcast of your poetry. I think that us an excellent idea!
Interesting enough, did you show this one to me in hs? it was vaguely familiar. I have always so enjoyed your writings. I am glad you still have the heart to write and post so we can read them even across the many miles.
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