Saturday, December 20, 2008

Be true to yourself as your own self true

As a followup to my previous post Why can't my friends be friends with my friends— I would like to focus on being a different person when with different groups of people. This may not be a bad thing— but one needs to be aware if they are changing in order to "fit in".

People are never one dimensional— but rather have many aspects that make a person who they are. People are multifaceted like diamonds— there are many ways of looking at the stone depending on your perspective. Because of this, it is very difficult to "see" the whole person.

People are seen in the various groups that they participate in and are viewed as a reflection of that group. Your behavior in that group may influence what others see you as… which is sometimes a shock to someone when they see you in another locale and appear to act differently. What is a disappointment to me is that you can be pigeonholed as acting a particular way based upon what group someone sees you in— even though you are not acting that way… the seeds of prejudice have thus been planted. But what troubles me more is that some people will behave differently on purpose when in different groups.

I am reminded of the short story The Martian from Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles where the martian shape-shifts himself to death. I do not think that we will kill ourselves when trying to fit in with the groups we are in— but I know that it is quite stressful having to "switch gears"… especially if the behavior is dynamically opposed.

I believe that anybody who consciously and purposefully "acts the part" are not being true to themselves— but are fooling themselves. One needs to be aware of their self and how they can be perceived in the various groups they participate in. This way you can be true to yourself as your own self true.


Barbaloot said...

You're right---it's exhausting to try and be a different person for different groups. (Plus, I'm not a good enough actor.) I guess if people can't appreciate my socially awkward/shy self...then it's all their fault:)

King of New York Hacks said...

Well said..Bradbury rocks. Being ouselves is way easier.

Unknown said...

i wanted to say TY for the bday wishes!

I agree with being ourselves is easier and less complicated

Kristen said...

Being ourselves shouldn't be work.

I have passed on an award to you

Merry Christmas

Anonymous said...

I think you may be referring to what St. Paul describes in Romans 14.

Mama Wheaton said...

It's hard enough to be me around those I know, I don't have enough energy to be something or someone else around others.

Dots said...

Couldn't agree more. You cannot live different lives at the same time. People change.. with times, circumstances, events... but they cannot be different people at the same time... No wonder genuineness is an admirable quality.

Jo said...

Like you, I find being myself all the time cuts down on confusion and personal agonies.

Shauna said...

L♥ve this post! Thanks :) ♥ Hugs!

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