Look what I got for Christmas

Whenever my wife gives gifts, she likes to give a gift that means something to the person receiving the gift. I must admit that she sometimes outdoes herself and comes up with some clever gifts.

Two years ago, I opened up my gift and look what I found…

Inside the box was a certificate of authenticity:

To those that cannot read the text here is what it says:

2009 Toy hall of fame winner!
The Original STICK
All natural
100% Organic
Rules of play

1. Play!
2. Make up your own rules

Caution Aviso Flammable!
Do not use near heat or open flame.
Do not use as a flotation device.
Not for use by children under 2. Use caution around pets and children.
Allergy information: Contents have been processed in a plant that may contain tree nuts.
Do not ingest.
Non-toxic.
Does not require batteries.
Burns, dents, flaws, and flubs are considered natural and add to the beauty and individuality of the piece.
For external use only
Do not put in eye. In case of accidental insertion, consult a physician.
Unlawful use may result in injury or death

Limited offer
Also included— 2007's Toy hall of fame winner:
Cardboard box
From the makers of "Log"

---

This summer my wife and I were craving orange push-up pops. You know— it's like having orange sherbert in a tube. Of course, nobody anywhere had them (they only seemed to have rainbow— how sad is that). So, we thought "we can always make them from scratch". Just get a toilet paper tube and fill it with orange sherbert. Then you get the left over disks that you have from the egg dying kits and stick that in the bottom and attach a coffee stirrer into it and there you have it.

Fast forward to Christmas morning…

Wife: Here you go (Placing the present in my hand)
Me: What is it— ooh that's cold
Wife: Just open it…

And what to my wondrous eyes should appear…

but a tube with orange sherbert in it:

Have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.