Thursday, June 7, 2012

Spin on Friends

This week's Spin Cycle is on Friends. I thought I would wax philosophical and re-post a theory of mine on Friendship Types:

I have found that there are three basic types of friendships that you can have— Acquaintances, Buddy-Buddy, and Close. At first I thought that these were levels of friendships that an individual achieves in a relationship with somebody, but I have changed the definition to be more role based instead. One thing that I know about these types is that you will always have more of one type than another. I have listed these in the order of popularity (which type you have more of)— and will give a brief description of each.

These are the type of friends that know you and you know them. You typically have a lot of these types because there does not need to be any real commitment outside of recognition. These can range from the commuter you sit next to on the train— to the person you used to sit next to in English class.
These are the type of friends that you go out with. They are your "buds" and there are typically less of these than acquaintances. These range from the workers you go out to drinks with— to the couple you have over for dinner.
These are the type of friends that know you very intimately. You typically do not have very many of these types of friends (if at all). Some labels for this type of friend include soul mate, partner, confidant, best friend.

I believe that there are times that all of us participate in these roles with others and that they are not necessarily reserved to happen all the time. I have known acquaintances that have acted (even if briefly) as close friends— even though I hardly knew them. It is good to know what kinds of friends you have, and appreciate the fact that you can have them.

What about you… Do you find that you have more of one type of friend than another? Do you have other labels that you use to describe the types of friends you have? Do you feel that you need to achieve each of the friendship types in order to progress in a relationship with someone?

Second Blooming


gretchen said...

I've found that the internet has created two new types of friends. 1. "friends" on Facebook, many of whom I don't even KNOW. 2. Blogger friends - most of whom I've never actually met, but I feel I'm closer to than many of my real world friends! Crazy.

You are linked!

Ginny Marie said...

I think everyone can relate to this list! It's nice when a friend moves from acquaintance to buddy to close friend. :)

Stacy Uncorked said...

Gretchen said exactly what I was going to say! :) So ditto. ;)

Spinning Up Some Friendly Friendships

That gentleman's lady said...

Well said and so true!

Ditto to Gretchen's comment.

Anonymous said...

This is something I think a lot about. Mostly because on a level I wish the way I developed friendships were different. But I guess I don't want it to be different enough to put any effort into that. Being active in my church community provides me with lots of acquaintances and buddies. But I'm not really even the type to go out and do tons with buddies. (again ... I wish I were, but I'm just not.) And I rarely feel like I have many if ANY close friends. I can count two really close friends I've had (not counting my husband, who frankly, fills these roles for me.) as an adult. Maybe a third that I'm developing here. Part of my hang-up, I think, is that I still have this image of "best friend" and as an adult I've felt weird about making that step. I've felt unsure about mutual desire to friend up like that. Well, I'll quit this long comment while I still might be making a little sense. This is actually a topic that I have thought of posting about frequently, but my thoughts are often muddy when I try to actually write them down. Maybe it's a challenge I'll have to tackle soon.

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