Complementary Compliment

This week's Spin Cycle is on Compliments— which may make you wonder about the title of my post.

I used to get the terms complement and compliment confused with one another. Believe it or not, they are supposedly pronounced the same as well (ˈkämpləmənt). After some pondering, I came to realize that both are interconnected. So that you will not be confused as I was, I will describe both, then will show how this is true in my relationship with my wife.

Complement (Lah)

When one person complements another person, they fill in those gaps that the other person is missing. I am often reminded of the phrase from the movie Jerry Maguire "You complete me". So often there are pieces of our personality that we are lacking that the other brings out. They say that opposites attract— and being able to complement one another makes the combination of the two stronger than the individuals themselves.

My wife and I are quite different from one another. Where I am typically outgoing, she tends to be a bit shy. When we are together she has more bravery and feels less timid about meeting new people. My wife tends to see the deails in things, whereas I usually see the big picture. When I am stuck trying to see something, she is able to put my views into perspective. I truly enjoy being recognized as a couple rather than two individuals. So often when we are together we tend to bounce ideas off of one another and make an interesting cohesive pair that many people enjoy being with.

Compliment (Lid)

When one compliments someone they tend to say something that makes the other person feel good about themselves. This is not straight flattery because "flattery gets you nowhere". So often we find our partner in need of a little ego boost. Giving a compliment to them helps them to overcome those challenges they face and lets them know that they are on the right track.

Whenever I notice that my wife seems down, I try to compliment her and show her that she need not worry too much about whatever is bothering her. Likewise, whenever I am frustrated about something, she will compliment me and show that my frustration is not worth getting worked up over.

The ability to compliment one another helps build the relationship by showing support for the other person. This support complements both by filling in the gaps— thus completing the relationship into a more holistic whole.

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